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The Slope Wife Life: Let Go Of Perfection

It never gets easier. There are always new challenges. 

It's not easy being a slope wife. I always get asked if I get "used" to my husband being gone. Ummmm, no. I miss him like crazy. There are lots of times where it is just not fun. So I just wanted to pass on some tips that I've learned over my years of being a slope wife. 

Tip #1. Let go of perfection.

I have been a slope wife for going on 10 years this year, I have 4 kids ages 13, 11, 9, and 5. My husband left for his job on the slope the week after my 3rd child was born. So, I had a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a baby. They all have their unique challenges, and they are their own personalities. But, raising your kids alone for long periods of time is hard. My hat goes off to parents living the single life. 

We live in a society today that is showing you and telling you to be perfect.

Let it go, life is too short to be living your life to someone else’s standards. Let me tell you a story. One time when my husband was on the slope, I was trying desperately to get my kitchen clean. I had some friends that were going to come over to visit, and we lived in one of those homes where it was an open floor plans. You could see the kitchen, living room, and the entry area all at the same time. I kind of hate these floor plans, because anyone who comes into the house sees your dirty dishes! 

I actually spent a lot of time cleaning up the kitchen, plopped the kids in front of the TV, and ran upstairs to take a quick shower. Upon coming back downstairs nothing looked out of the ordinary.  As I turned the corner to walk into the kitchen I knew something was wrong.

I was sliding across the floor like a rollerskating, disco dancing queen.

My arms swung wildly in desperation trying to grasp onto anything for balance. But to no avail. The kitchen counter was as slick as a used car salesman. Finally, I came to a stop when I slid all the way across the kitchen, and fell to the ground unable to grab onto anything.

I was upset!

One of my children had felt the need to spray the floor, fridge handle, and the kitchen counter with cooking spray. The next thing I remember is them jumping up on the couch laughing at me from the living room. I tried to get up, but wasn't going anywhere fast. 

What in the world were they thinking!

All within a few minutes they managed to create a rollerskating rink for their mom and shattered my idea of having a clean house for the company. I think kids must have some sort of radar that goes off when they know you are trying to accomplish something. Eventually I pinned down who did it and asked him why. His response was that he just wanted to know what would happen.  Now, we do our best to keep the house clean, but I’m not putting on a front of perfection anymore. I don't run around like a mad man trying to clean up when someone is stopping by.

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Just relax, let go of perfection. Kids grow up fast, and then who will be around to make your life interesting. 

You are a rock star mom!

 It's hard being home alone with the kids. Take them out for dinner when you've had a hard day, relax in a bubble bath. The kitchen can wait until morning. 

The Slope Wife Tips

5 Tips To Being a Support For Your Postpartum Partner

As a mom of 4 kids I can tell you that it is exhausting to give birth. I jokingly tell my husband that I have been sleep deprived since my oldest was born 13 years ago. It is emotionally and physically exhausting to raise children, but it's worth it! I always heard people tell me while I was pregnant to get sleep now because once the baby was born, I wouldn’t get any sleep. It didn’t really hit me that that was true until I was so sleep deprived that I couldn’t even think straight. So, here are some tips to be a support for your postpartum partner to help her get sleep, and feel great. 

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#1: Take time off work to be home.

New moms have just had their bodies work harder than ever, and go through changes that are really dramatic in a short amount of time. They need sleep, which is hard to get when you have a newborn that needs to eat every few hours, and poops just as often. She will need help. Stay home, take the baby so that she can rest, shower, and eat.

#2: Accept meals and help from friends and family.

These people know how hard it can be to add a new little baby to the family and they want to help. Graciously accept their meals, it’s one less thing that you will have to worry about doing. I’ve learned over time that having a community around you that will help is essential to raising children. Just don't forget to do the same when your friends have babies! 

#3: Hold the space for her.

What does that mean? Don’t assume that you know how she is feeling. Not everyone has the same emotional reactions to things, and while we might have a good idea of how she feels, you could be completely wrong. If she shares something with you, ask her how she is feeling about it. You might be surprised about what she says. We need to allow others to feel what they are feeling, and acknowledge it. I really believe that most women just want a listening ear. Instead of immediately giving advice, listen to her, and then ask if she wants advice or if she would just want you to listen to her. This is so important and something that I believe a lot of people struggle with.  

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#4: Surprise her!

Take the time to bring her something that you know she loves and enjoys. That could be anything from flowers, to a specific food, to a gift. She deserves to know that she is appreciated for all that she does. It's amazing how the little things in life can really affect how we feel. 

#5: Enjoy this time!

I know that everyone says to enjoy the time when your kids are little. But it is so true! They grown up so fast, and before you know it they are to big to hold in your arms. Enjoy this new little one and the wonder that they are. 

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